New Song....MANSCAPIN' 101

Welp, it's been awhile since I've updated this thing with ORIGINAL content. I figured I'd stop stealing stuff off the internet and put my own voice on here once in awhile. I've been really busy lately developing an addiction to coffee and Breaking Bad. Gotta put the important stuff first, ya know? 

So Thanksgiving is coming up. Whoop Dee Do. I remember last year around this time I told myself, "Boy, 2011 is going to be MY year!" The year where I would make things happen for myself! No more hourly job wages, or physical labor-I'm going to find a job where I can use my mind and creativity to make money. Something that acknowledges a college degree. A job that will pay me a salary! Monday - Friday with weekends and holidays off? No more jobs that feel like I need a lobotomy to get through the day. Time for a change...Yeah, I was going to make 2011 my bitch!

Here I am, about a month left to go in 2011, sitting in my chonies at 11:53am on a Monday. Just waiting to clock in at 4pm to go clean up a bunch of rotting cow flesh and blood from the meat department at the local grocery warehouse.

2012....Now THAT'S gonna be my year!  -_____________- 

Audio and video aren't totally sync'd....too much awesomeness to keep up with...

Happy Halloween!

"Old Alabama"

So you meet a girl that you click with. Great! Congratulations. Now comes the sticky part. After you’ve gone out on a few solo dates with her, it’s time to meet her friends, and have a group hang out. No big deal. Except when you walk into the group of her friends, (on your best behavior, of course.) You notice something odd. The only female there is your own date.

RED FLAG! The reason that a girl has ONLY guy friends can be a number of reasons-mostly bad. 

     A.     She doesn’t get along with girls because she’s been the “other” woman.

     B.     She loves getting attention from guys, so she surrounds herself around them.

     C.     She parties WAY too hard, so only guys can keep up with her.

     D.    Lesbian.

If you are looking for a potential partner, run from this girl! (Unless you are yourself, a lesbian.)

Okay, let’s give this girl the benefit of the doubt and say it’s just a coincidence, for her multiple bromances. If she brings you to meet her guy friends, it’s a good thing, right? Wrong! She might as well throw you to a pack of wolves. They are going to rip you to shreds (most likely behind your back.) No one wants to see his potential hook up buddy stolen away by some high-and-mighty douchebag like yourself.  They are all going to try to be the “big brother,” and “protect” her from you until they can finally make their move. It makes me sick!

Which brings me to my next point. It’s more than likely that she’s already hooked up with at least one of her many guy friends.  I mean, do you think you are the only one that finds her attractive?  She parties with these guys, gets drunk with these guys, and you think she hasn’t slept with any of them? Wake up! Do you really want to hang around guys who consider your girl, their sloppy seconds? 

It’s really simple- It’s VERY rare for a guy and girl to have a strictly platonic relationship. At least one of the parties always wants something more and will pounce at the opportunity- taken or not.  So let’s say your girl isn’t attracted to any of her guy friends. They probably feel opposite-and they don’t give two shits about you!

There is nothing that another guy friend can provide for her that you cannot. (Except another booty call.) So, if you notice that she only has the male specimen in her call log, cut her off! This is a RED FLAG!

-Her guy friend.